HOLLYWOOD, CA—Clad in his pajamas, fuzzy slippers, and floppy nightcap, mustachioed 1930s comedian Max Ruckle announced Sunday night that he had finally gotten the best of his new house’s stubborn Murphy bed. “That oughta do the trick,” Ruckle said after a prolonged 45-minute struggle with the malfunctioning bed, during which he repeatedly stomped on its mattress in an attempt to keep it down and became frantic each time it suddenly sprung upward and trapped him inside the wall. “Bed’s trying to make a monkey out of me, eh? Well, it takes a lot more than a pile of springs to outwit ol’ Max Ruckle!” Sources confirmed the sleepy Ruckle then blew out the flame from his candlestick and jumped into bed, immediately causing the walls of his house to collapse outward in all four directions.
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