Assistant Always Follows Warner Bros. CEO With Suitcase Containing Codes To Authorize ‘Collateral Beauty 2’

LOS ANGELES—Ensuring that the project could be deployed at a moment’s notice at all times, an assistant always follows around Warner Bros. CEO Kevin Tsujihara with a suitcase containing the codes to authorize Collateral Beauty 2, sources confirmed Friday. “Whenever Mr. Tsujihara is traveling outside of the office, I follow him, carrying this briefcase to which only I know the code so that we can launch the sequel to Collateral Beauty at any time,” explained the assistant, who remained anonymous for security reasons, noting that he was under orders to listen for the CEO to speak the phrase “We’re going to greenlight this” to unlock the briefcase, which contained the script for the sequel to the 2016 David Frankel film as well as instructions to commence production. “Time is always of the essence, so we always have to be ready to put Collateral Beauty 2 into action. If we hear that Columbia Pictures or 20th Century Fox is threatening to release anything remotely similar to this film, we have to be ready to strike back.” At press time, the assistant confirmed that the studio had begun the countdown to initiate production in 10 minutes.


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