NEW YORK—Staggering onto the stage at a promotional event for the popular podcast, a trembling, blood-drenched Sarah Koenig reportedly revealed Wednesday that producers had finally selected the topic for the upcoming second season of Serial. “We have chosen a storyline that is certain to have a number of shocking revelations and disturbing details as the ongoing investigation unfolds in real time,” said Koenig, adding that this season of Serial will go deeper than ever before and feature exclusive access to the story’s central figure, before pausing for several moments to silently stare down at her hands. “I can assure you this season will have plenty of twists and turns to keep fans guessing from week to week. We will present listeners with every startling piece of evidence and a graphic personal account, but it’s impossible to predict how it will end.” Sources confirmed that Koenig then cut her remarks short and sprinted offstage upon hearing the distant sound of a siren.

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