Illustration for article titled Comic-Con Fan Guesses He Enjoyed 60-Minute Panel Of Silently Masturbating Alan Moore Practicing Sex Magicem/em

SAN DIEGO—Reflecting while exiting the packed Indigo Ballroom, local Comic-Con attendee Matt Donnelly told reporters Friday that he guessed he enjoyed the 60-minute panel wherein comic-book writer Alan Moore silently masturbated and performed sex magic rituals. “Honestly, I was kind of hoping he’d talk about creating Promethea or From Hell, but I guess it was kind of cool to watch as Alan conjured the supreme Thelemite goddess Babalon by ejaculating into the sacred Graal,” said Donnelly, who admitted that ultimately, his ticket was worth the cost despite the fully nude 64-year-old responding to an audience question about modernization in Watchmen by drawing an 11-point occult symbol in salt, lying belly-up in the middle of it, and stroking his penis. “I got excited when the moderator brought out guest panelist David Gibbons, but they immediately just started pleasuring themselves and chanting ‘Glory unto the Scarlet Woman!’ in unison over the 12th Aethyr. It was pretty interesting, though, to see my hero mix his ejaculate with his wife’s menstrual blood to create the Elixir Rubeus.” At press time, Donnelly admitted that Moore wasn’t as entertaining as the Game Of Thrones panel featuring George R.R. Martin providing in-depth commentary while masturbating to his favorite scenes from the fantasy television series.


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