F. Scott Fitzgerald Estate Wondering Why The Hell Ken Burns Hasn’t Come Knocking Yet

NEW YORK—Saying that the story of one of America’s greatest novelists was “just sitting there begging to be told,” representatives from the estate of F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald openly asked Thursday why the hell documentarian Ken Burns had not come knocking yet. “F. Scott Fitzgerald defined the Jazz Age era of excess and romance with his writing, so I think it’s fair to question why Ken Burns hasn’t shown his face anywhere near our robust archives,” said estate representative Phyllis Westberg, adding that the filmmaker would have so much access to the handwritten journals, original novel manuscripts, and historical photographs of F. Scott, Zelda, and fellow expatriates at the Café Montparnasse that he could “crank out a fucking amazing six-part miniseries event” in a single visit. “Maybe you call it The Lost Generation, and focus on him, Hemingway, and Faulkner rising to prominence together. Or you make it all about F. Scott himself, and really go into detail about his time at Princeton, the Hollywood years, his tragic decline into alcoholism. Christ, I just wrote the whole goddamn thing for that oblivious little twerp.” At press time, Westberg added that if Burns could find a way to do a documentary on Mark Twain, he sure as shit could make some time for the man who wrote The Great Gatsby.


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