Illustration for article titled FBI Warns ‘Downton Abbey’ Screenings Could Be Target For Shootings By Disgruntled Royalist

WASHINGTON—Following reports of disturbing behavior by disaffected loners at the fringes of high society, the FBI released a joint intelligence bulletin Thursday warning moviegoers that screenings of the film Downton Abbey could be a potential target for shootings by disgruntled royalists. “The individuals in question are in a state of constant anger and dissatisfaction, frustrated to be living in a world that does not honor the crown,” read the bulletin in part, outlining how the FBI had discovered the plots while monitoring pro-monarchy dark-web forums where members posted about how seeing people like themselves onscreen who believed in divine right had inspired them to restore power to the throne through violence. “We fear that the themes of largesse and elitism depicted in this film may radicalize these people. While the FBI intends to deploy a select amount of undercover police officers dressed as servants to screenings, we advise theater employees and attendees alike to keep an eye out for suspiciously fancy activity by individuals in tails or top hats. We advise extreme caution if the theater patrons encounter anyone who looks like a member of the landed gentry.” At press time, AMC and Regal Cinemas announced that security personnel would be posted at all upcoming Downton Abbey screenings to check bags for dueling pistols.


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