NEW YORK—Discussing their astonishment mere hours after the premiere of the highly anticipated episode, Game Of Thrones actors told reporters Monday about the moment they read the script for the zombie battle in “The Long Night” and realized they had definitively wasted their careers. “Right away, when I finished the script, I felt this sense of immense loss at throwing away the prime of my life performing in a make-believe world of CGI dragons and giants,” said series regular Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, who described feeling stunned when discovering that he had squandered day after day of his precious existence freezing his ass off in Belfast-based shoots just to play a mediocre role in an emotionally incoherent series that had stretched on for years too long. “I’ll never forget when [showrunner] David Benioff sat me down and told me the fate of the Night King and I thought: Who gives a flying fuck? What am I still doing on this show? Jesus Christ, I actually cried.” At press time, several cast members told interviewers about having their breath taken away after learning their characters survived the battle and that they still had to film three more episodes of this goddamn thing.

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