LOS ANGELES—Insisting that the legal, centuries-long practice of slavery in America could never have limited his personal or artistic ambitions, Kanye West stated Wednesday that if he had been born into captivity, he would have simply escaped the plantation on his motorcycle “the first chance [he] got.” “If that slave owner so much as fixed his lips to say something to me, I would’ve just hopped on my Harley and ridden to freedom—probably would’ve popped a wheelie through the cotton fields as I peeled off, too,” said the Grammy Award winner, adding that while he “vibed with certain Negro spirituals,” there was simply no way he would subject himself to the hardships of slavery. “There’s nothing that could ever stop me from making music. Point-blank. I would’ve parked my chopper at the studio and recorded an album about my experiences in the fields, inspiring slaves throughout the land to free themselves from their mental prison.” At press time, sources confirmed West had taken to social media to unveil a new line of tour merchandise loosely inspired by the Underground Railroad.

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