WASHINGTON—Telling reporters they were unable to convey the full extent of their gratitude that the plot of the hit HBO series had finally surpassed the events of the novels, citizens across the country expressed immense relief Sunday that all the insufferable little Game Of Thrones fans would no longer be able to lord the books over everyone else just trying to enjoy the show. “After five unbearable seasons of constantly hearing how ‘the books handled things much differently,’ it’s just so nice to know I won’t have to deal with any of that shit this time around,” said White Plains, NY resident Cathryn Wakeman, echoing the sentiments of millions of viewers who had become exasperated by the incessant comments from “all those little shits” about how the televised version of a battle strayed from the George R.R. Martin novels. “Every time there was a slight deviation, one of those fuckers would have to chime in with how someone from the show was actually a composite of ‘two way more interesting’ characters from the book or how the producers left out a passage critical to understanding Westeros or some shit like that. Thank God those assholes just have to sit there and wait to find out what happens next like the rest of us.” Although the nation was looking forward to watching the fantasy show unbothered by annoying remarks from fans of the books, Americans said they wouldn’t put it past the little pricks to butt in with fan theories they picked up online.
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