LOS ANGELES—After his streaming service came in second behind HBO in the total number of statuettes taken home at the awards show, Netflix CEO Reed Hastings reportedly chewed out his content creators Sunday in a relentless, rage-fueled tirade in the post-Emmys locker room. “You want to tell me what the fuck just happened out there—how did we lose to something called Fleabag, goddammit?” screamed Hastings, who chastised The Kominsky Method creator Chuck Lorre, Russian Doll star Natasha Lyonne, and others by name, reminding them he could cancel their shows with the snap of his fingers. “Would you like what happened to Tuca & Bertie to happen to you? Would you? Because if you don’t get your shit together, that’s the direction you’re all headed. And how is it you pansy asses didn’t produce a single documentary on nuclear power plant disasters, huh? I don’t care how you do it. Next time, get out there, melt one down, and film it if you have to. These are the Emmys, for Christ’s sake! Aw, you’re the sorriest damn group of creatives I’ve ever seen.” At press time, sources reported Hastings had greenlit 600 original scripts in an attempt to pad Netflix’s offerings for the 2020 award season.