R&B Singer Guesses She’ll Just Keep Moaning Into Mic Until Song Is Over

NEW YORK—Saying she had no idea the final chords were going to go on as long as they did, local R&B singer Kaila Robinson decided Monday that she might as well just keep moaning into the mic until the end of the song. “Well, I finished all of the words I planned to sing and we still have 30 seconds on the track, so...I might as well just some make deep, emotive noises for a while,” said Robinson, adding that she would probably start by wailing in her regular voice before throwing in a few falsetto notes for good measure. “There are three of us up here, so I assume that they’ll probably be moaning, too. Maybe we’ll do a little harmony or a round or something. The backup singers seem to be doing your traditional ‘mmmmuuhhhhhh,’ so I’ll definitely moan some ‘yeeeeeeeuuuuuuhhhhssss’ for some variety. Actually—shit, the song’s still going. I guess maybe I’ll do a couple dozen variations on the world ‘baby’ for a while.” At press time, sources reported that even after the background music had ended, Robinson still continued moaning for an additional 17 minutes.


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