OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL—In an effort to provide customers with the most affordable and convenient sexually explicit entertainment, Redbox on Friday debuted a new touchscreen on the back side of the automated kiosk for renting pornographic features. “Simply slide into the discreet gap between the Redbox and the grocery store’s exterior wall and then tap the ‘get started’ button to peruse up to 600 different X-rated offerings,” said company spokesperson Natalie Verrone, explaining that casual viewers and connoisseurs alike will be able to find what they’re looking for, from classics like 1978’s Debbie Does Dallas to the latest hardcore compilations of lesbian coeds, deep throat blow jobs, and amateur gang bangs. “Whether you’re in the mood for filthy smut that will leave you feeling disgusted with yourself or tasteful erotica you can enjoy with a partner, just slink to the back of one of our 40,000 kiosks, located everywhere from supermarkets to drugstores to gas stations, even McDonald’s.” At press time, Redbox announced the discontinuation of the pornography touchscreen, as nearly every customer reportedly watched a trailer and then hurriedly departed without ever renting the DVD.