Report: Economy Must Be Doing Pretty Well If Entire Season Of ‘Bones’ Online For Free

NEW YORK—Predicting the country will soon reach levels of employment and household wealth it has not seen in decades, top financial experts concluded Tuesday that the economy must really be surging right now if an entire season of Bones is available to watch online for free. “If they’re just giving away the complete 11th season of a hit TV show to anyone with internet access, then I think that leaves little doubt that we’re on the cusp of a new golden age of economic prosperity marked by rapid wage growth and significant expansion of the nation’s GDP,” said Mark Zandi, chief economist of Moody’s Analytics, who, after finding 22 episodes of the crime procedural starring Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz streaming in their entirety free of charge, also forecasted a sizable uptick in corporate earnings and sales of new and existing homes. “If the reports are true that every episode of the 12th and final season will also be available online at no cost, it seems pretty safe to say that we have entered promising new economic boom times, and we should expect to see a strong dollar, soaring consumer confidence, and the entire manufacturing sector springing back to life all across the United States.” At press time, Zandi acknowledged economic growth might not be as robust as he had initially thought, citing a paywall he discovered when trying to access episodes of FX’s legal thriller Damages.


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