NEW YORK—Continuing the show’s much-lauded commitment to inclusivity, the producers of Sesame Street introduced a paranoid-schizophrenic Muppet Friday specifically conceived to help educate kids about Pat Sajak stealing their empty tuna cans. “For certain children, awareness of threats posed by the Wheel Of Fortune host can be crucial to development, and that’s where Leo comes in,” said head writer Sue Rawson, who noted that the new Muppet’s fun sing-along songs were created to help kids improve in a number of cognitive areas, including identifying the shadows where Sajak lurks and knowing which letters of the alphabet are actually the television personality’s demonic servants. “We have Leo pacing the studio apartment where he lives alone, opening cabinets, clutching at tuna cans and shouting “Aha!” to emphasize the truth that nowhere is truly safe from Pat Sajak. For added realism, we’ve given Leo a neighbor who comes by from time to time to check on him and make sure he’s taking his prescribed antipsychotic medications.” A press release from Children’s Television Workshop also noted that Leo will be instructing young viewers on how to properly duct tape their toilets shut to ensure Sajak is unable to slither out during the night and steal their food while they sleep.
More from The Onion