Tabloid Reveals Pete Davidson, Kate Beckinsale Only Dating As PR Stunt To Promote New York Rangers

Screenshot: The Onion

NEW YORK—Scoring an inside scoop on the new celebrity couple, the tabloid website TMZ revealed Wednesday that Pete Davidson and Kate Beckinsale’s relationship is no more than a public-relations ploy orchestrated to raise the profile of the New York Rangers. “We’re in seventh place, the season’s winding down, and we need to do something to get people to pay attention to this team for the next month,” read a leaked email from Rangers publicist Kerry Stevens, who reportedly introduced the 25-year-old Saturday Night Live star and 45-year-old Pearl Harbor actress, convincing them to exchange long, deep kisses in order to foster fan interest. “With Pete and Kate on our team, we can show New Yorkers that no matter who’s winning, there’s still no better place to publicly make out with your date than right here by the ice in Madison Square Garden.” At press time, sources confirmed the Rangers’ five-game losing streak had prompted team officials to abandon the plan for all remaining home games and instead keep the Jumbotron camera continuously trained on a grimacing Christian Slater.

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