The Onion’s Guide To Streaming Services

Illustration for article titled The Onion’s Guide To Streaming Services

Streaming services have proliferated in recent years as content-watching habits change, and it can be hard to choose from all the options. To help, The Onion has compiled a guide to the various content streaming services.

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Hulu: The best place to access shows that aren’t on Netflix.


Sling: Same shows as cable but over spotty internet you buy from your cable provider.

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Shudder: Horror-themed streaming service that allows users to experience the nightmare of scrolling for hours and hours without ever finding a recognizable title.

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Netflix: Hosts a vast library of email accounts people fabricated to score free 30-day trials.

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Amazon Prime: Has Guarding Tess right now.


Quibi: Your own streaming service, for the low price of about $300 million.


YouTube Premium: Offers a wide array of exclusive, ad-free right-wing radicalization videos.

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Peacock: If you love birdwatching, prepare to be very, very disappointed by the content Peacock has to offer.

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Mubi: A collection of arthouse and independent films to play on mute at warehouse parties.

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Disney+: Eventually there will just be this one.

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