The Onion’s Holiday TV Guide: Movies And Shows To Watch This Season

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Holiday programming is in full swing as networks fill the airwaves with shows to get viewers in the festive spirit, from classic films like It’s A Wonderful Life and How The Grinch Stole Christmas to made-for-TV movies and other holiday specials. Here’s The Onion’s guide to what to watch this holiday season:

  • A Christmas Burden (Lifetime, Friday, Dec. 12, 7 p.m. EST/6 p.m. CST) — The Towson household agrees to host a family friend for the holidays while she’s going through a divorce.
  • Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s Stone (ABC, Saturday, Dec. 13, 8 p.m. EST/7 p.m. CST) — The popular fantasy film gets the holiday treatment by coming out around Christmas.
  • Charlie Rose (PBS, Monday, Dec. 15, 6 p.m. EST/5 p.m. CST) — Veteran host and journalist Charlie Rose conducts an in-depth 90-minute interview with current White House chief of staff Denis McDonough about the true meaning of Christmas.
  • Santas Over Dreidels (ABC Family, Wednesday, Dec. 17, 8 p.m. EST/7 p.m. CST) — As the holidays approach for the interfaith Smith family, the children get ready to celebrate Christmas because their father is more rigid and overbearing.
  • Iron Chef Christmas Throwdown (Food Network, Thursday, Dec. 18, 6 p.m. EST/5 p.m. CST) — Top chefs compete in Kitchen Stadium with this year’s special holiday ingredient: a full-grown Fraser fir.
  • Not My Daughter’s Christmas List (Lifetime, Friday, Dec. 19, 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST) — A loving mother mistakenly purchases gifts for a strange man after she discovers his Christmas list in her daughter’s room.
  • The Christmas Feet (AMC, Sunday, Dec. 21, 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST) — In AMC’s Walking Dead-themed remake of the holiday classic, a child worries that his zombie mother won’t be able to stagger to heaven and meet Jesus with her rotting, putrescent leg stumps.
  • Hamstrung For The Holidays (ABC Family, Monday, Dec. 22, 7 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST) — Embarrassed by her poor cooking skills, perennially single businesswomen Mary Harte hires the nice guy next door to pretend to be her eight-pound glazed ham.
  • Ken Burns: Christmas (NBC, Monday, Dec. 22, 8 p.m. EST/7 p.m. CST) — This entry in Burns’ massive, critically acclaimed documentary series on the Christmas holiday focuses solely on tinsel.
  • Dead Christmas Husband (Lifetime, Tuesday, Dec. 23, 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST) — Christmas is no fun when your husband is dead. Can Judie find a new husband before midnight on Christmas Eve?
  • Yuletimate Logging (HGTV, Tuesday, Dec. 23, 11 p.m. EST/10 p.m. CST) — In this contest of endurance, two large logs duke it out for crackling supremacy.

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