The 88th Academy Awards air Sunday, Feb. 28. Here are some tips for hosting an unforgettable Oscars watch party:

  • Compile a list of friends who are knowledgeable about film and make sure not to invite any of them.
  • Pass out ballots for everyone to fill out. Whoever has the most correct guesses at the end of the night gets installed as a board member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.
  • Remember, it’s always safer to stick to prewritten material than risk any off-the-cuff banter with your guests.
  • As host, your job is to graciously defuse any violent tantrums when Oliver Tarney upsets Lon Bender for the Best Sound Editing award.
  • Make sure to say a few things about how shameful the Academy’s lack of diversity is so everyone knows you know about that.
  • Hide a camera in the bathroom just like real paparazzi.
  • Be sure to congratulate any Oscar nominees at your party whether they win or not.
  • Ultimately, as with any party, the most important thing is to give everyone a chance to sit back, relax, and watch far more attractive and successful people have the night of their lives.

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