NEW YORK—Unrelenting in her dedication to dazzle at the annual Met Gala event, a visibly exhausted Lady Gaga proclaimed “Voila!” Tuesday afternoon during her 149th consecutive costume change as museum visitors gingerly stepped over her. “Behold—I am a butterfly—now witness the monarch’s metamorphosis!” said the international superstar and event hostess, who appeared pale and dehydrated as a group of confused German tourists avoided treading on the hundred-pound piles of taffeta and silk discarded around her. “Abandon the cocoon, my babies—we were born to soar! Wait, I have more. Come back. Would anybody help me undo this clasp? My designer, where is my designer?” At press time, Lady Gaga emerged from a pile of wigs and helped a lost visitor locate the ancient Egyptian temple.
More from The Onion