What To Expect From A Live-Action ‘Beauty And The Beast’

Illustration for article titled What To Expect From A Live-Action ‘Beauty And The Beast’

Disney unveiled the trailer for its live-action adaptation of its 1991 film Beauty And The Beast, which comes out in March 2017. Here’s what viewers have to look forward to:

Filmmakers to further explore candlestick’s insatiable passion for feather duster

Emma Watson puts her theatrical range to the test by portraying a lovely girl who reads a lot


While all characters will now be portrayed by humans, vocals will all still be performed by cartoons

Footrest walking around like a dog in full, horrific 3D

Fully reimagined Beast character rewritten from misunderstood loner into sullen anti-hero


Inclusion of brand-new song by Alan Menken and Tim Rice called “Hey Hey, I’m The Beast”


Approximately 90 minutes of entertainment

State-of-the-art CGI to render Gaston’s biceps even more sculpted

At least three more of these things if it nabs over $400 million domestically

Moral of story still roughly that ugly people do not deserve love


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